I know that this is ostensibly a review blog that I regularly forget to update (I’ll do something new soon), but with what I have to say in this I think that Facebook or a long and broken up tweet really just isn’t appropriate. So here it is. What follows is an edited and titled version of something I wrote as part of a discussion about Rowling on my cousin’s timeline. It is not comprehensive and it does not fully deconstruct Rowling’s essay in any way. But it does address some of the key issues and major things that we, as trans people, have to wrestle with. Please also note that (other than now!) I do not use the word ‘TERF’ anywhere in this piece, nor do I deny that there are extremes on both sides of the discussion.

1) J.K. Rowling is Trans-phobic

And calling her that is not counter-productive to the discussion. Her essay and previous actions prove that at the very very least she is supportive of damaging and anti-trans views and is guilty of exceptional insensitivity. Everything that she talked about in her essay was exactly the same rhetoric that is trotted out by more overt transphobes. Her essay generalises, misrepresents and misleads in various ways, trots out tired and somewhat contradictory tropes and uses her own trauma to try and justify a position on single sex spaces that has no foundation or evidence. I won’t go through it point by point, other people have done that far more effectively elsewhere.

Just in case anyone is in any doubt, J.K. Rowling’s use of her own (and I am sure utterly horrible) experience as a domestic abuse survivor has literally 0% relevance to whether or not she is also being dismissive and damaging to trans people. In particular, equating trans people TRYING TO PEE with a husband who is systematically a domestic abuser – this deliberately sets out a narrative that transgender people are inherently threatening. Compare it to trying to say: I was mugged once, so now I never walk through typically black neighbourhoods in case I get mugged again. Unless you were specifically mugged by a black person, in a black neighbourhood, there is absolutely no correlation between the two statements beyond bigotry. Her situation was awful and I am glad that she and her daughter managed to get out of it. But what has that to do with single-sex spaces?

2) Trans People (Specifically Women) AREN’T Belittling Cis-Women Who Have Concerns.

Actually, what we’d really love is to be able to have a genuine dialogue and explain things properly. Anti-trans groups present us as inherently hostile and unwilling to talk to cis-gender women who do have concerns about safety – usually concerns that exist in the first place because of anti-trans groups and their rhetoric.

But if you actually talk to us on things like single-sex spaces, we’d be like: No, sexual assault is not OK and anyone who tries to use ‘being transgender’ as an excuse for being a predator (of which there is basically no evidence of this happening) is a criminal. We agree that such a thing is unforgivable. But even more fundamental than that, this is just something that couldn’t be further from our minds when we just want to pee or go to the gym.

The fact of the matter is that that whole argument is equivalent to the old ‘gay men are obviously peadophiles’ and ‘lesbians just hate men’ suggestions. It implies that all trans women are predators and only want to assault women. It ignores facts such as that of many trans-women being STRAIGHT – in other words being interested in men (and by the way, they wouldn’t attack men either, just so you know). It ignores the fact that LGB men and women use toilets all the time and don’t go around assaulting people. It ignores the fact that we are more likely to be harassed or assaulted about using a bathroom than cis-gender people are. Like, seriously, when was the last time you went into a toilet and had a mother hide her child away from you like you were some kind of child-snatching weirdo, or got an insult from an old lady who is accusing you of trying to peek up skirts? That happens to us ALL. THE. TIME.

When it comes to discourse, we want to have it. We want you to know that your concerns have answers and can be alleviated. What we are belittling is THAT ideology, not people who have valid questions and thoughts. Of course there are predators out there. And yeah, there’s various forms of sexism that come into play between women judging each other, fat-shaming etc etc. Let’s talk about it. Please. Just don’t tell us, while we are talking about it, that you think we are all out to attack you. Which leads on to my next point…

3) Trans People Hate Misogyny and Toxic Masculinity As Much As You Do

I think we can agree on something: the main threat to women has been straight men. This is fact. It’s backed up by statistics. It’s backed up by movements such as #MeToo. It’s backed up by cases such as that of Brock Turner (look it up!). It’s also backed up by the fact that trans women are equally threatened by sexual violence and harassment – including murder – predominantly from men.

THIS is one of the main reasons why we say that trans rights are women’s rights. The rates and types and specific examples might differ, but there is a certain degree of shared experience that anti-trans groups try and deny. Actively. By blaming trans women. And saying that they are more often aggressors than victims – which is just so untrue that it is laughable. And let’s not forget to mention trans men who are raped and assaulted because they are still seen as women who need to be put in their place – or who are regularly referred to as just ‘confused butch lesbians’.

It is a particular type of sexism and patriarchal nonsense, but still ultimately gets focussed in on WOMEN and people assigned female at birth. This is a feminist issue and that’s why intersectional feminism (which includes all these different groups) is focussed on women’s rights as a whole.

4) We Know All Too Well That We Are Not Cis-gender Women/Men

Acutely. Painfully. Daily. It’s quite literally the key component of our dysphoria. Every day many of us wish that we hadn’t been born this way. Give us a switch and we’d flip it, give us a magic lamp and we’d use it. Not only that, we’d take it periods and all! We know that there are certain things that we will never experience, we know that there are things that we can never do.

But we are, still women. Say it with me: We. Are. Still. Women. (Or, for the trans dudes out there, Men!) Reminding a trans woman that she cannot carry children, or a trans man that he can’t produce sperm to impregnate – repeatedly, loudly and aggressively – and then weaponising that as a way to belittle her/him and say that this doesn’t make her/him a ‘proper woman/man’ is abhorrent. Would you say that to a cis-woman who had had a hysterectomy? No. What about a cis-man who had to have an orchiectomy due to testicular cancer? No. So why say it to a trans person? All of these situations are sad and horrible – but they happen.

In the end, we want to be as close as we can and very few, if any, of us can be ‘perfect’. But we stand IN SOLIDARITY with cis-gendered women. Again, to bring up intersectional feminism, a white woman does not experience the same things as a black woman, a woman who has had a hysterectomy or endometriosis is still as much of a woman as any other but will have very different lived experiences. Saying that trans women are women is very simply an acceptance of that fact. That we have an experience of being a woman that yes, might be different at times from others, but is still fundamentally about being women and does have shared experiences as well.

(Side point about periods: trans women do get them, as do some trans men. They might not bleed in the same way, but hormone levels fluctuating and all that jazz does happen with HRT. It is a different kind of period, but it is still a cycle. Oh, and let’s not get into the matter of dilation post-surgery for those who have it (again, look it up – this time it does involve blood and a lot of pain). Similarly, trans men often have both literal and HRT-related periods that can be cripplingly distressing for them. So yeah, check your ignorance about period-shaming at the door!)

5) Tone Policing Is Unwelcome, Unhelpful and a Show of your Privilege

Much like black people and other people of colour, or feminists trying to break down institutional sexism, we are sick to death of being told ‘pipe down and talk about this quietly’.

If we do that, then voices such as J K Rowling’s don’t get challenged. If we do that, laws get put in place that take away our already laughable access to healthcare, safety, security. If we do that, deliberate misinformation, lies and false claims get made to demonise us. The reason pride exists, the reason that there are rights for LGBT people was sparked by a riot of black trans lesbians who had decided that enough was enough. Our quiet and rational voices DO NOT get heard because we are constantly having to battle against all of the loud-mouthed bigots who say that we go around raping people left right and centre. We are the ones having to defend ourselves from anti-feminist groups who literally think that we should be sent to mental institutions.

We are ignored, ridiculed, belittled and then accused of being ‘too loud’?!!? Really? We are repeatedly told that we are not ‘real’ men and women and thus our voices don’t matter as much? Really? We are angry – because we fear for our lives and our freedoms that are being gradually stripped away.

So go ahead, tell us to calm down and raise our concerns peacefully and try to not step on anyone’s toes while we do it. But don’t expect a polite response. You wouldn’t tell a woman to calm down and just accept that some men don’t like having them as their bosses or as pilots, or as doctors because they are women. You wouldn’t tell a black person to just accept that some people feel uncomfortable when they are walking down the street just because of the colour of their skin.

So go a head and tell a trans woman that she should just accept that she isn’t allowed to go into a toilet without judgement and harassment just because poor Karen doesn’t like the fact that she doesn’t have periods. Go ahead and tell a trans man that they should just accept being beaten up and belittled because some people just don’t accept that they are men. Go ahead and tell us that we don’t deserve adequate access to healthcare because ‘oh, there just aren’t that many of you, really’ or ‘you’re just delusional’ or ‘well these 5 people got it wrong, so therefore all you other 5000 must also be wrong’*.

*Note, this is not a statistic, but a point being made. Plus, the issue of ‘de-transitioning’ is a whole other kettle of fish that would need to be discussed in a separate post. The short version is basically that a huge amount of those who *do* de-transition do so for a variety of reasons including medical and prejudicial – that doesn’t invalidate their experiences and it’s not because they’ve been brainwashed.

Final Thoughts:
Do You See Why We Are P*ssed Off!?

I don’t know you, I don’t know your minds, backgrounds or anything. Just like you don’t know mine. I write this openly and publicly because it’s such a big issue for me personally. I am angry because this is a very real situation that we live in. This is a very genuine issue that we face just by existing. And I am fed up of people trying to speak for us and police our tone. I am fed up with people like J.K. misrepresenting us and manipulating people though bad arguments and irrelevant examples. I am fed up with people not taking a moment to think about their own privilege . I am fed up with people not giving us the chance to talk peacefully and openly.

I am also fed up of the fact that #IJustNeedToPee!!!